Romantic Things to Do to Keep Your Relationship Vibrant, Alive and Exciting

It's often been said that it's the little things in life that makeall the difference.No where is this truer than when it comes to keeping yourrelationship alive, growing and vibrant.Romance can be one of those things that keeps a relationship fresh and exciting.

We all have different ideas of what "romance" and "beingromantic" means. There can be a lot of unmet expectations,frustrations and feelings of failure around this idea.We don't think it has to be this way.

What being romantic means to us is that we are continuouslydiscovering ways to laugh, love and connect with each otherand deepen our intimacy all the time.

To us, romance is what we do on a moment-by-moment and day-by-day basis to make our relationship stronger and morepassionate. Being romantic is a way of showing our deep love for each other.

Of all the romantic things to do, we've found that the smallthings make the biggest difference. Here's an example ofwhat happened the other night...

Susie went camping for one night with her extended familyand since Otto doesn't like "roughing" it, he stayed home.

As she snuggled down in her tent with her sister, Susiecalled Otto on her cell phone to say goodnight. She toldhim that she loved him and missed him.

Although a phone call is a pretty normal thing to dobetween people who truly care about one another whenthey are apart, it can be a way to connect and rekindlelove in a romantic way like we did.

Romantic things to do for each other are romantic only whenthey create the desired effect within the other person andwithin the relationship. Romance will only create the desiredeffect when it is not done out of obligation or because it isexpected.

So what are the best romantic things to do to make yourrelationship more alive?

That depends on you and your partner because everyoneis different. Romance is certainly in the eye of the beholder!

To some people, a "no-brainer" romantic thing to do is tosend flowers. You can't go wrong with flowers, right?

Wrong.

You can go wrong with flowers if there is little or no "heart" in the gesture and if there's something else that the otherperson is wanting.

Susie's ex-husband often brought her flowers during their 30-year marriage. Although it truly was a wonderful gesture, what she really wanted more was to connect on a deeper level with him.

With that being said, here are some ideas around thenotion of romance and being romantic...

1. Pay attention to what your partner likes. If he/she likessurprises, surprise him/her. If not, don't--even if you likesurprises. Pay attention to your partner's favorite things that they seldom indulge themselves in and then do those things. It might be something your partner wouldn't buy or do for themselves like buy a cd of their favorite music.

2. A romantic gesture can be doing a very small thing.It might be after the kids are in bed, getting a bowl of icecream and two spoons--then sharing it. It might be puttingthe kids to bed without being asked. It might be a hug ora foot rub. For Susie, a romantic gesture is when Otto lovingly puts his hand on the back of her neck.

3. Romance can be taking a trip down memory lane.Visit where you went on your first date or some other placethat holds significance for the two of you. It's very romanticfor the two of us to visit the natural setting where we wenton our first date and where we got married.

4. We've heard people say that they are not romantic.If you've never considered yourself to be romantic andnever really wanted to be but your partner would likemore "romance," you can begin by changing your thinking.Instead of thinking that romance is something artificialand outside yourself that you "do," you can begin thinkingthat romance is merely ways of expressing your love thatyour partner will receive and enjoy.

5. What if you want more romance and your partnerdoesn't seem to? Be more romantic and loving yourselfin the way that your partner wants to be loved. Startwith little ways and just see what happens.Romance and being romantic are the things you do that bring you closer together and keep the spark alive.Being romantic and finding romantic things to do is something that you or anyone can do. You just have to open to more possibilities, have the desire create special times with your partner or spouse and allowthe ideas to flow from love.

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Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships, including "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" and "Communication Magic". In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth.