 |
NLP Techniques and Relationships
What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) studies the structure of how humans think and experience the world. Subjective experience such as the feeling of love cannot be quantified but it can be modeled. From these models, techniques for quickly and effectively changing thoughts, behaviors and beliefs that limit you have been developed. Neuro - The mind and how we think. Linguistic - How we use language and how it affects us Programming - How we sequence our actions to achieve our outcome. Using NLP to understand and handle relationships intelligently - Adopting presuppositions of NLP in your relationship outlook can help you handle disagreements better and understand why your partner is behaving the way he/she is. Credit: Richard Bandler, founder of NLP The NLP Advantage in Bringing About Fast Results Many dos and don’ts of self-help books tend to appeal to the conscious mind, as they tend to approach problem solving with linear logic, ie, at the same level the
original problem was created. The reason why we have difficulty retaining and integrating much of the information is because our conscious mind can only take in +-7 bits of information at a time. In order to bring about lasting results, the material needs to be integrated into the internal processes of the mind - the subconscious mind. By internal processes, I mean, what you see, hear and feel internally prior to, during and after an activity. By paying attention and pattern interrupting these often unconscious processes, you can achieve your desired behavior with far less effort and willpower. An example: For instance, you feel anger when you see your spouse watching TV instead of talking about each other's day. What do you see, hear or feel in your mind, before you start to lose your cool? You see your spouse watching TV (visual trigger). You might see in your mind, images of all the historical inconsiderate acts of your spouse. Then you might tell yourself "I know it, he'll always be inconsiderate. He'll never change.". Then you might feel a constriction in your chest, as you feel anger welling up. Then you start nagging at your spouse, yelling "When are you going to change?", hoping that he'll change this time. This probably won’t inspire your spouse to start a loving conversation with you, would it? Now the sequence of processes might happen so quickly that you may not even notice it consciously. Let’s say, you prefer to ask in a calm manner that you would love to chat with your spouse over a nice meal. Probably this would invite a better response. So the next time you see your spouse in front of the TV set (visual trigger), you first see in your mind something that makes you calm, perhaps a nature sanctuary, and you tell yourself, “I choose to respond calmly with love”. You would have a better chance of delivering what you wanted to say in a way that invites a more loving response. NLP can help you detect and make changes to your unconscious patterns of behavior, so that you can achieve your desired behavior, with relative ease and speed. NLP techniques and relationships NLP technique: Improving Communication in your relationship How to find solutions to problems that both you and your partner enthusiastically agree on. NLP technique: How to bring back the feeling of being in love once again Over time, conflicts may erode the feelings of love. This technique can help you (and your partner, if present) help you re-access those feelings of love and romance once again. 1. Be in a comfortable position and close your eyes. 2. Go back to the time when you and your partner first met. What do you see, hear and feel? Fully immerse yourself in the experience. 3. Bring back the feelings of joy, romance etc. Where in your body are these feelings located? Intensify the feelings 10 times, wherever they are. As you are just nearing the peak intensity of the blissful experience, put your finger and thumb together. 4. Give yourself a 30 seconds rest. 5. Put your finger and thumb together and see if you can evoke the feelings. Are you satisfied with the intensity? If not repeat steps 1-3, until you are. 6. When you are physically with your partner, simply put your finger and thumb together to evoke the feelings. NLP technique: Reducing the Intensity of Negative Emotions Instantly When experiencing intense negative emotions, this technique can help you reduce its intensity instantly. Technique: Association vs Disassociation 1. Close your eyes. 2. Pay attention to any images that you see with your mind's eye. 3. Do you see yourself in the image or are you looking at it from your own eyes? In the case of the latter, step outside of your body in the mental image. Make sure that you now see yourself in the new image. 4. How do you feel?. Chances are you will not be feeling the emotions as intensely. NLP technique: Overcoming Fear/Worry/Anxiety 1. Think of something that you are frightened of or worrying about. Make it something where the feeling is unpleasant, you are not sure what to do, and the feeling is getting in the way of your effective action. 2. Imagine the situation and feel the feeling. Give it a label. It could be “fear”, “fright”, “anxiety” or “worry”. 3. Now imagine that feeling in front of you. Look at it with your mental vision. What does it look, feel and/or sound like?
b. Sound
c. Feeling
3. Now let it stream past you. Let it go over you, under you, and around you. Let it go through you and as it does, it will become like a wisp of smoke. 4. As it streams around and through you, it will go behind you. Imagine that you can see I behind you disappearing faster and faster into the distance, until it melts into nothingness, as if it is being sucked down one of those enormous wind tunnels. There is nothing left. If you feel a little residue of the feeling, just put it in front of you again, face it, and repeat the process. 5. Now feel you body solid and grounded. You remain. You are not this feeling, because you can separate yourself from it. Credit: - Free Yourself from Fears: Overcoming Anxiety and Living Without Worry, Joseph O’ Connor NLP mental programming techniques - Reframing - Changing limiting beliefs - Difference between problem and outcome thinking For the following NLP techniques -Click here - Recapture the essence of who you were in the beginning when your partner fell in love with you. - Matching and Mirroring - establishing rapport with your partner - Anchor whatever that makes your unique - leave a lasting impression For the following NLP techniques -Click here - What to ask when your partner tells you that the relationship isn't working - What is love to you? - How to offer constructive criticism to your partner, if the need arises. - How to uncover the positive intention behind your partner's behavior More NLP mental programming techniques from the NLP Toolbox The following techniques are found in the NLP toolbox.
Gain powerful new insights for problem solving, creativity enhancement & general wisdom with tools in the “New Perspectives” chapter Stop those flaming nagging voices in your headwith the infamous “R.B. Mantra!” Discover a technique for dealing with 'Psychic Vampires.' Stop certain people from draining your precious life-force FREE NLP Articles - Learn how to use the law of attraction to attract love in your marriage/relationship using NLP techniques. .
|
