Why You Need To Walk Away In A Break Up Leave Your Ex Alone Or Kiss Your Relationship Goodbye!When T W Jackson put pen to paper and produced The Magic Of Making Up , most predicted it would be just another "how to" book rehashing much of what has already been discussed. Not so. Jackson is adamant the first thing someone who is on the outer in a relationship needs to do, is take some time out. Not a day, not a week but at least a month. Taking time out from your relationship and your ex is the best way to let those feelings of panic and desperation cool down so you can take a more objective look at your relationship. Panic and desperation leads people to do crazy things. For example, when someone gets dumped their ego takes a hit and the first thing they want to do is make their partner see the error of their decision. What people fail to realize though, is the decision to "let you go" was made for a reason. Your ex wants you out of their life for the time being. Right now, you are the last person they will listen too or want to see for whatever reason. Trying to convince them otherwise is only going to convince them that they've made the correct decision. And you can almost kiss goodbye your chances of getting your ex back . Also, even if you do walk away, don't be tempted to stay in touch by constantly getting on the phone or sending a barrage of text messages. Taking time out means exactly that. There are no winners in this situation. The Magic Of Making Up identifies the aftershocks of a relationship breakup where the person spurned does everything but what their ex wants them to do and that's to go away for awhile. Another mistake people dumped make is to get in touch with the family and friends of their ex to try and convince them to make him/her see some sense. Not a good idea. Likewise, turning up at places your ex likes to hang out at and then treating it like a co-incidence will only throw more fuel on the fire. One of the reasons you need to take some time away is to clear your head and look at your relationship objectively. As hard as it may seem, you need to assess the pros and cons of a reconciliation. Despite what's happened, will it be worth going back to the relationship. What are the chances that the same thing could happen again a little further down the track? Also, by giving your ex the space they've requested will be in your favor. Jackson says that by agreeing with the split from the outset and walking away can have a dramatic impact on the outcome later on. Obviously most people who are forced out of a relationship for whatever length of time leave unwillingly. But leave you must because as Jackson states in The Magic Of Making Up , the initial wounds need time to mend and only then can the healing process begin. |