Love Meditation

Using your relationship as a mirror - Part 1

Purpose: Difficulties in relationships often mirror parts of ourselves that we need to heal. When our partner, for instance, does not treat us with respect, or is emotionally distant, we need to look closely at ourselves to see what they are reflecting.

1. Think about what bothers you about your partner. What quality or trait does your partner have that makes you uncomfortable or that you judge?

2. Once you have identified the quality or qualities that bother you, ask yourself what the positive aspect or essence of that quality might be. For example, if you see your partner as arrogant, what could be the positive aspect of arrogance? It could be that they are self confident ...

3. Ask yourself how it might benefit you to develop a bit more of that quality in yourself. Could it help you find more balance in your life? If you are judging someone as arrogant, chances you are quieter person who may perhaps benefit from being more confident about expressing your own opinions. This person is like a mirror who is expressing the disowned quality to you, so that you can be more aware of what you need to develop.

4. Remember that you don't need to become like this person. They may be far too extreme or expressing themselves in a distorted way. However, you can use the discomfort of this relationship to help you develop in order to feel more whole and fulfilled.

5. Once you have identified what quality this person is reflecting to you, imagine yourself having integrated more of that quality in yourself. Imagine yourself as being more assertive etc.

Using your relationship as a mirror - Part 2