Love by DesignLove By Design - Free Articles The Truth About Finding Your True Love And How You Can Fulfill Your Dream Of “All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here. The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge and instructions on how to create your soul-based relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially how you can draw in your soul mate! 3 Proven Strategies To AHealthy And Happy Relationship Is creating a healthy, happy relationship with the love of your life a dream for you? Not at all, if you would learn some fundamental principles to keeping and maintaining a happy relationship. The principles discussed here can also be applied to all your human relationships - whether it's with your child, your friends, your co-worker, or even your boss! Unhealthy, sad Relationships have some general notable characteristics in common. Here are some basic guidelines and if you can spot the red light lighting up in your relationship, you can prevent a communication break down or even a relationship break up! Dr Robby Bilton In Love by Design relationships it is important that there is reassurance, certainty and security. The other day, actually the other week, I had several people in my office who were not very secure in their relationship. They came in on their own. They were having difficulties in their relationship. They just didn’t feel safe and secure in their relationship. They were worried that their partner may be moving away or potentially straying or not loving them in the way that they want. In ourLove by Design book we talk about various communication modes. Many people that have a certain communication mode find that if their partner has a different communication mode, they don’t feel that secure of how they are feeling in terms of feeling loved. That is very understandable if you understand the communication modes. If you read in our Love by Design book, we talk about four communication modes, the Visual, Auditory, Digital and Kinesthetic. The following is a brief overview of the four basic communication modes: Visuals communicate by seeing and doing. They like activities and they like gifts. They notice people, places and things with just the slightest glance. They feel and share love by doing things with or for other people. They take things at face value and do not look deeper into things. Auditory people communicate through talking. They have the natural gift of the gab, are designed to be able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking and listening to other people talk. They feel loved when they are talked to, and like to hear the words I love you. Digital people communicate through connection and understanding. The find the deeper meaning in everything they think, see and do. Understanding is very important to them. They feel loved when they share connections with others and are understood. Kinesthetic people communicate through their bodies. The move, feel and express through their bodies. Kinesthetics love to touch, feel, physical activity and hugging. They feel loved when they are touched. For example in the book, we talk about my relationship with Michelle. Michelle was a lovely young lady and she was a Visual, Auditory. I happened to be Visual, Auditory Kinesthetic, and Digital. So she was hitting two of my communication modes, but was not hitting the other two, in the Digital or Kinesthetic channels. She was not hitting my Communication modes so I felt empty in those areas. In the relationship I had with Lucie, she was a Visual, Kinesthetic. Again, I was a Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital. Although they were different modes than Michelle, in fact they did have some similarities in the sense that both of Michelle and Lucie were Visual. However, again their modes were different, and not the same as mine. So two of mine with Lucie were missing and two of mine were missing with Michelle. With Lucie, my Digital and Auditory was missing. I felt very empty because there was no Auditory communication and there was no Digital or deep thoughtful or mental, emotional connection. So with Michelle, we would talk a lot and do things, but again I didn’t feel connected, intellectually, emotionally or at a deep spiritual level. I also did not feel connected Kinesthetically as much. Many of these situations are reflected in the some of the clients that come in and see me. A lot of them tend to be Digital. Digital people tend to go to counselling more than a Visual person. A Visual person would go to counseling or a Visual, Kinesthetic person would go to counselling usually because they are dragged there. However, if a Digital person is with someone who is not Digital, they really feel empty. Sure they do things together. Their partner may talk or may not, but the Digital really feels empty. Also in relationships where one partner is highly Kinesthetic and the other person isn’t, the first person will feel like the other person doesn’t love them, that the other person is interested in someone else because they are not having as much cuddling, kissing or sex, with them as they did when they were courting. So then if the person is Digital, they start thinking a lot, which is something that a Digital person does, which is think a lot, they then start feeling insecure. Also if you are stressed out in life, and you are Digital and Analytical you tend to get a little paranoid if you are put under stress if you are not being reassured. So in aLove by Design relationship, it is key that your partner is on the same channel as you, and if not, know how to work on the same channel as you and to reassure you. I spent 10 years a paramedic and 10 years as a business man, before I was a counsellor. When I was in business and as a counsellor, reassurance is very important. All professionals reassure their clients of what they are going through and that things will be o.k., that things will be taking care of. So reassurance is a good skill to develop in your partner. I constantly reassure kitten or Melody, who is here with me, smiling as I am writing this. She is not a strong Visual, she is part Visual, and so I can give her some gifts, and bring her some things. I would go and buy her a pizza or buy her a hamburger or buy her a little thing at the store or a t-shirt or this or that. But mostly because she is Auditory, I tell her that I love her all the time and I tell her that she is pretty and that she is special and I am very lucky to be with her. Also because she is highly Kinesthetic which is a strong thing for her, I make she feel connected, and is touched and hugged and cuddled. Every time we see each other we bump into each other and hug and I grab her and she grabs me and it’s fun. She shows her love this way and she always grabs me. I guess I’m not supposed to say that eh kitten? “Grab me on the shoulder”, she says from the background. “Yeah sure you are kitten sure you are.” I answer.” On the shoulder, this is a PG article.” Melody is also Digital, and Lucie and Michelle both weren’t. So with both Lucie and Michelle I felt very empty, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but with Melody I feel very connected because she is highly Digital and we are on the same page, mentally and emotionally. Melody knows that I understand her and if you are a Digital that is probably one of the core reasons why she decided to be with me. She knew that no matter what happened in our life, I would understand her and if I didn’t understand, I would take the time to understand and she knows that I know. I can experience what she thinking and feeling and experiencing. We all want a witness to out life drama, our life experiences, our life success and people want us to be a witness to their reality and be on the same page, if you are highly Digital. Now if you are Visual, you want to do things together you just want to spin around and do things together. Like when I worked on the ambulance, many of the people I worked with were Visual and we had this non-verbal communication and when I was with Lucie and also with Michelle, we could do things like renovate. We had this kind of synchronicity like two seagulls or two birds flying in formation. So again, you will have different repoire on different channels. However, ideally, the key in terms of reassurance and having a Love by Design in my belief is if you are designing from square one, you really need to have someone on your same communication channel. I mean it just makes life so much easier. If I wasn’t with Melody and I was dating other people, I would screen out people who were not on my same channel. I find even working with other people, or other counsellors that I work with is that I really prefer that they have the same communication modes, in at least the Digital and Auditory communication channels. Otherwise I don’t really want to work with them unless I am doing Visual things or doing something superficial. So it is important that you really understand that it is very important if you are currently creating a Love by Design and if you are not in place where you can rebuild or restructure where are in a situation where you are in an existing relationship, your partner needs to learn, if they are not on the same page, to do that. That way you will feel reassured, that way, if you are not getting that information on that channel. You are actually going to feel insecure and if you don’t get love in the way that you want for a long time, you will see the symptoms that many of our clients have that come into the office. They have low self esteem. When I was with Lucie for a while, my self esteem was dropping with her because I wasn’t reassured, and I wasn’t feeling loved. She didn’t say I love you, she wasn’t Auditory She didn’t talk to me in the car, she didn’t talk to me over dinner, she didn’t like talking on the over phone. I just didn’t feel connected. Plus she wasn’t Digital, so she wasn’t interested in ideas or philosophy, and concepts, and metaphysics or spirituality, and relationships and counselling and psychology and all these things. So it was really important for me to have that. If you don’t get it in your relationship you tend to seek it outside your relationship. That is why people have emotional affairs and real affairs that involve sex and secret relationships and all that kind of stuff, including people on the internet and chat rooms. There are so many people who are having trouble in their relationships that are out on the net, not that they are going to match.com and having secret rendezvous at the local coffee shop or hotels (which does happen), but they are in chat rooms and they are meeting people and developing friendships and they have friendships at work and they are always going for coffee. If it’s a girl and she’s hanging around with some guy, the guy thinks he is eventually going to have sex, and it gets all complicated, so lots of people have that goofy kind of relationships. There are people who are married that I call the “Virginia” syndrome, read my book True Love on Demand (www.trueloveondemand.com) and you will know why I call it the Virginia syndrome. These people are Digital and they are not getting their emotional and intellectual needs met. They are with someone who is not like that. They are not on the same page, so they have other relationships, emotional affairs, second husbands, or whatever you want to call it. Both men and women do that, it is both genders. This is because subconsciously, when you are not getting what you want, when you don’t feel secure, your self esteem is dropping. You need to do these things to booster your self esteem, make yourself feel good and subconsciously, whether you are conscious of it or not, you will do these things to try to meet your needs. Again that is because our goal in a relationship is get our needs met in the way that we want them, so that is important. So it is important to develop habits, if you are going into a relationship, to reassure your partner and to reassure them in their communication modes. You can assure them in your communication mode of choice, but if that communication for some reason is not there for one reason or another even though you are reassuring them, but you are reassuring them on the wrong channel it’s not going to work, so it’s not going to work on them. Again, ideally, if you are starting from scratch and you truly want a Love by Design relationship basically, you need to drawn in, attract and screen for someone who is on the same channel as you and someone who is not emotionally shutdown. We didn’t talk much about that in this article, about a person being emotionally shutdown, but if a person is emotionally unavailable, affection wise or shut down sexually or emotionally shutdown, the partner who is not getting these areas, being human is going to feel a little insecure in this situation, not matter how good your self esteem is or how confident you are. People just need it, that human desire to feel connected and to have that energy. If you look at it from a Shamanic point of view, I have had the chance to train with Shamans, and to understand the Shamatic model of energy. The Shamans talk about the game behind the game, the Second Attention versus theFirst Attention. It’s kind a neat that we are talking about this now, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning and the full moon is out, it’s kind of neat out. The Shamans talk about First Attention and Second Attention. First Attention is about the third dimension reality. The Second Attention world, is the world behind the world, you enter the world of energy essentially. In successful relationships there is an energy exchange, it is like electricity, it is like a circuit, it is give and receive. So I am grabbing kitten and telling her I love her and she’s beautiful and she’s special and I understand her and when she sees me, she is doing the same to me, and she says “ I love you Robbybean.” She tells me that all the time and in bed she kisses me all the time and when she leaves she kisses me and when I come in she says hello and kisses me and greets me and because she is Kinesthetic she loves to touch and cuddle and she loves to talk to me on the phone all the time. I just love it. I said to Lucie, when I used to live with her. I said “Lucie, when I come home can you be kind of excited to see me and say hello to me and talk to me and show excitement and stuff.” She said to me “Get a Dog.” I said “Yeah, right.” But with Melody, it’s just natural, she has that Expressive personality which is combined with the Digital mind and the Kinesthetic, Auditory and some Visual so she is jumping up and down and she is excited saying “Love you, I’m excited to see you, I love Robbybean.” I really feel recognized, I really feel adored. If you study men and/ or women who have affairs, what is the big draw with some of these people, is that these people may not even be as attractive as their mates that they have but, they feel adored. I feel adored all the time, Melody adores me , I’m special, I’m a big deal, she’s excited. And I do the same to her. I have a special pet name for her and she has a special pet name for me, she calls me RobbyBean and she has other pet names for me. So as you can see if it important to reassure. And it is important to let the other person know, do not hold back even if you are shutdown on those channels either because you are not on those channels or if you are emotionally shutdown or affectionately shutdown. I know when I was playing really adversarial back in the day 30 years ago or whatever, I thought it wasn’t cool to show affection or it wasn’t cool to say I love you or it wasn’t cool to be vulnerable . It wasn’t cool to be any of these things. But frankly, it’s not cool, not to show love on these channels in the channels you partner is in and it is your job to reassure your partner and to be with a partner that reassures you. There should be no insecurity in a relationship, no game playing. Sure you match level of commitment, but it’s not about game playing, it’s not about withholding, you are here to give, living is giving, and to give freely love in all the channels, without expectations, in a positive, happy , positive-upstate way. It is important to read the Seven Principles of Relationship Success, which is being taught in Love by Design and which is good to read, because it talks about some of the things in this article for relationships success. So it is important to reassure and don’t hold back, that way it will help you create the life and love of your dreams. Melody Chase I was watching an episode of the Home and Garden show “NEAT”, which is a show where a crew comes in to help clutterbugs reorganize and systematize their homes. There is major change going on for the homeowners, including a lot of tossing out, giving away and rearranging of their home and life. I turned to Rob, my life partner and even though I am an Amiable personality type which means I am into teamwork and everyone getting along, I said “If I was honest with myself, I think I would turn into Linda Blair‘s possessed character from the Exorcist if people started trying to force me into so much change.” Amiables, by tradition, do not adapt as well to change, but all personalities if they are not consciously aware of it or do not have positive, accepting ways of handling it, will go into resistance when someone imposes change on them. Even if the other person is including the first person in the decision-making process for the change, the simple fact that the other person initiated the change is enough to throw the first person into resistance. This is a major power struggle is that hidden in most relationships that result in one person feeling threatened or encroached upon by the change and the other person feeling attacked or even abandoned because the first person is resisting their plans. In an article prepared by the City of Winnipeg Employee Assistance Program, 1992. They have the following to say about change: “Change is always a new opportunity and a loss of the familiar. Change is a shift in what is required, anticipated and valued, so we must move differently and that requires energy… change requires energy. Expect a variety of reactions to big changes. If you are not part of what’s making the change happen, you may feel threatened and react automatically with anger, blaming, fear or some other style. What’s your style? Slow-to-be- realized- changes may be ever more threatening, and so you put the idea of what’s happening out of your mind as much as possible. This is like the death of someone close to you, that you don’t want to face. Expect the three stages of Resisting the Change, Accepting the Transition, and Opening up to a New Beginning. Resisting is about denial, then anger, and then bargaining urgently to keep the old ways. Accepting Transition is to first appreciate, and then get upset over what is being lost (mourning). Then we can accept the task of getting along without. Naturally, there is a time “in between” when we feel lost and without motivation or direction. Finally, after some experimentation, we can become enthusiastic about some New Beginning. It all takes time. Be aware of what you are up to, you can take care of yourself.” Now instead of trying to change the stages, it is more important to just be aware of them. You can then gently flow through the stages without further resistance or without being down on yourself for reacting a certain way. It is also important for your partner to understand the stages too so they know not to take it personally and not be in resistance to you either. I was unconsciously going through the stages when Rob and I were doing some major renovations in our house. I was trying not to resist and feeling bad because I felt like I was being a stick in the mud, although I was trying not to. Once I realized the stages though, it really helped by just allowing the stages, and it became easier and easier to adapt to change. In addition to accepting the stages, here are few positive beliefs to keep in mind about changes: • Change is a chance for new opportunities and to learn new things. • There is nothing to feel bad about if there is something that you need to change about yourself. You are perfect to begin with, if you find out the reality about yourself and that there is something you need to change, you are actually rediscovering your true self that has been lost during your life experiences. Melody Chase There have been many books about Communication, Communication Styles, and Conflict Resolution Techniques. This article is to focus on the less common, but just as important areas of communication known as: Body Language Contrary to popular belief, as mentioned in the romantic comedy “Hitch” with Will Smith, words are only a small fraction of the communication. In fact, according to Rob, (Director/Counsellor of The Centre for Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre, and Co-author of Love by Design http://www.LoveByDesignBook.com) says that the following is roughly how communication is divided. 10% of Communication is conducted through Words. So what does this mean? We spend the majority of the time focusing on what people are directly saying, but we are missing 90% of what people are really saying. It is no wonder then, that above and beyond couples not having the same communication modes, or not having relationship skills, miscommunication can also be occurring because we are not focusing on the full picture. Indirect Communication is also an alternate form of communication, because a person needs to listen to what is being said underneath the words, and not take the words at face value only. Let’s give some examples of the less well know forms of communication. BODY LANGUAGE: When a couple comes for counselling, by the time they sit down on the couch together, we already have an idea of the dynamics of the relationship. How? By how they are sitting on the couch. Is the couple sitting on opposite ends of the couch? Are they sitting close together, are they leaning towards each other, away from each other? Is one couple leaning away from the other even though the other is leaning towards the other one? Is one person practically sitting on the other? Are they holding hands? Does someone have their arm behind the other one? Are they sitting forward, leaning back relaxed, or sitting up poker straight? Is someone fidgeting or restless? Is someone hugging a pillow, or putting a pillow between themselves and their partner? There is a lot going on, if one is aware. It is important when communicating to be aware of one’s body language. Often a person may shutdown by something the first partner is saying or doing, but are not saying anything, so the first partner continues unaware. As an example, if someone shuts down, they may lean away from you, they may or may not be smiling, they may have a very tight, restricted look on their face. Their eyes will usually be directed away, looking down, or looking up and away. If they do maintain eye contact, chances are their arms will be crossed. Arms being crossed is fascinating, in and of itself and has more than one meaning, but as the person doing the communicating and as the receiver of the communication it can send different messages. It may need to be checked out to prevent misinterpretation. Arms crossed could mean: They are angry TONE: We once had a couple come in to see us where the wife’s main complaint was that she didn’t like the way her husband talks to her. She said she told him time and again that he had to stop talking so angrily towards her, and she couldn’t handle the intensity when they talked. The husband was truly perplexed. He honestly though his wife must be hypertensive or looking into things that weren’t there because as he explained, he never yells or raises his voice towards her and he never says anything derogatory or mean to her. So what was going on? When explained to him that it was his tone and intensity of his voice that was conveying anger, he responded by saying…“ Tone? What’s tone?” He never knew that people can react to the tone of one’s voice. He just thought communication was black and white, you are either yelling or not yelling. Tone can be much more subtle, but just as powerful. Many years ago, when I was going through a marriage prep class with my 1st husband, one of the marriage prep teachers, pulled me aside one day and asked me, if I ever noticed the tone of my voice before. I said” No, what are talking about?” He said that I had a tone to my voice that said “I’m not worthy” to people. So the bottom line, you may think you are just communicating with words, but there is a whole other conversation going on, that people can pick up by your tone whether it is intentional or unintentional. Lastly, there is INDIRECT COMMUNICATION It is very important to be a Direct Communicator, express what you feel, think or need directly. Communication is a very subjective art in the first place because everyone has filters when it comes to interpreting what other people mean due to your belief systems, your mood, past traumas, experience and education. What one thing means to you may not have the same meaning to another person. So if you are the type of person who uses indirect communication to express your needs you are complicating your communication ten fold. You are opening up tons of new interpretations that are not necessary, in hopes of couching your needs or hoping that you are not going to cause a reaction from the person you are asking the request from. The reality is that you are actually decreasing your chances of the person you are communicating with understanding what you want, plus you are potentially frustrating the other person with unclear messages. Sometimes, indirect communication can also cause the other person to feel like you are trying to control, care give or influence them, instead of stating what you want. Melody Chase Not many people know about the hidden power struggles that can occur in a relationship or marriage. This article is about a hidden powerstruggle known as rhythms. Every person has their own unique rhythm whether that is how they eat, sleep, work, relax, or even think and breathe. However, in our society, we have been taught to assume to everyone is alike, or that there is a specific way that everyone needs to go about their day in order to strive and be successful. This can cause a powerstruggle in a relationship in two ways. This article is to bring attention to some of the less well known types of rhythms in a relationship. Our first is what I will call a task accomplishment rhythm. In our work, we teach individuals and couples something similar called workstyles which are ways how people like to carry out their work or activities such as Guideline people who need a basic guideline or structure 24 hours a day or Employee people who like to go by other peoples rules for a certain portion of the day, then the rest of the time they go by their own rules. For task accomplishment rhythms, I will use Rob, my Life Partner (who is also the Director/Counsellor for the Life Management Centre/ LMC Relationship Centre and Co-author of Love by Design) and myself as an example. When Rob is accomplishing tasks throughout his day, he likes to do a whole bunch of tasks, one after the other, nonstop without any breaks. Then stop for the day. I on the other hand, although having an Employee Workstyle, while I am actually working for or with the other person, like to work for a while, take a break, work for a while, take a break etc. In the beginning of our relationship, there was an unconscious powerstruggle, mostly felt by me because I couldn’t keep up the same momentum as Rob, especially if we had been out shopping or in public, I would have to have rest and recoup before I could charge into the next task at hand. I would get really tired and uncomfortable, and Rob would feel my resistance. That didn’t last for long though, as soon as I recognized that my rhythm was different than Rob’s, I brought it to his attention. I accepted that my rhythm is different than his and he has incorporated my rhythm into his schedule, so I can rest in peace, and then join him again in our tasks. The good news is that I was just as productive as Rob, as long as I kept true to myself and my rhythm. Another example of a rhythm is that people have different speech patterns, speed and rhythms. Rob had a couple come in to see him once, were the couple was having a communication problem. The wife talked a mile a minute; the husband talked very slowly and paused a lot when talking. The wife often cut him off, between pauses, the husband often feeling offended by being interrupted all the time and the wife always felt like they weren’t getting anywhere in their communication. Would you believe the powerstruggle was there simply because they weren’t aware that they had different speaking rhythms? As soon as Rob pointed this out to them, and taught them how to understand, appreciate and not be in nonresistance to their rhythm their communication greatly improved. The wife, especially learned to be aware of the husband’s pause, and that the pause didn’t mean he was finished talking. There are many other types of rhythms out there that will be unique to you and to you partner. Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to be aware of your feelings. If you ever feel like you are in resistance to your partner, such as feeling angry, a drop of energy or the need to dig your heels in, be on the “look out” and “feel out” for a potential rhythm that may be different. Next, bring you partner into awareness, then accept, and appreciate both your partner’s and your own unique rhythms. With acceptance, nonresistance and being authentic, you will find that not only will the resistance fade away, both of your fill be at you fullest, and highest and best capacity in all areas of your lives. The Secret Hidden Ingredients That Make Your Relationship Really Work - Discovering The Real KEYS For A Love By Design Relationship Forever! What is a healthy relationship? What does it look like, what does it feel like? What does it sound like? And what is a healthy person, a healthy functional person? Now for those of you out there who are wanting to create a Love by Design relationship it is important that, just as you would be building a new home, you would need good materials and just like parts of the good materials or resources that you need in order to build your dream home, in a relationship, you need to have a couple of things. You need to have a functional person who is compatible with you and you need to be functional yourself. So the question is what is healthy and what is functional? Some people ask me, well isn't that normal, isn’t it normal to be healthy and functional? Well, actually in our society it's not normal to be healthy and functional, in fact, in our society most of us are taught to be dysfunctional. And what does dysfunctional mean? It means that it is not functional; it means that we are taught how to behave and act in relationships in a way that doesn't work. It actually doesn't get our needs met many times and the way we think about relationships, our mindset, our paradigms, our beliefs, how we view people, relationships and love is not very workable. In fact, that is why so many people in our society have challenges in relationships. As you know that there is a 50-75 % divorce rate in our society depending on what statistics you believe. There is up to a 95% breakup rate. You know most relationships only last a few years and people are either out the door or they are sitting at home wishing that they were out the door instead of living lives of quiet desperation. So being called normal is not such a great label these days. Now the reason we are dysfunctional is that our society has in fact picked up a whole bunch of beliefs, probably from books, tapes and movies. You know, watch the average soap opera and see the beliefs and attitudes and behaviors that are going on there and you know of course because of the media and movies, people get influenced by that especially because it is a form of programming. In any event, from our families, from media, from other sources, a lot of us are trained from many institutions such as church, schools and work to be Codependent so those are not good attitudes for relationship success or for creating a Love by Design. The question remains what is functional? What is healthy? A healthy relationship is one where there is a lot of circulation, a lot of energy circulation. Both people are getting what they want, in the way they want it. In fact, relationships, are a mutual filling of needs, and when both party's needs on many, many levels, especially the needs that are very important to you which are called Deal Breakers, if they are met (they are requirements; they are absolute musts to have) there is a lot of meeting of each other's needs, at many different levels, then we have good circulation. From an energetic model point of view, it’s like electricity, an exchange of energy, back and forth, you know, your needs are met, my needs are met. If you are in a relationship it is where one person's needs are met and the other person's needs are met. So that's the key to a successful, healthy, relationship. Now, let's define functional. Functional basically means not toxic or deficient. It's like looking at relationships as qualifications, you need to be qualified in fact to be functional and if you are qualified, you won't be lacking certain skills and you won't be having the natural habits, negative love habits or toxic sort of responses or behaviors. So essentially that will make you functional. That means you work well in a relationship. You see, if someone isn’t toxic or deficient, then there is a great chance of working well especially if they do have the right attitudes or the right behaviors or the right responses and the right skill sets. So, if you are trying to create a Love by Design, it is important that you have a functional person that is able to meet your needs, so that you have a healthy and functional relationship. ........................................................... |