Save My Marriage Today Relationship Articles

-- By Amy Waterman

Saving Marriages With Unconditional Love
3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage
Save Your Marriage Secrets
Relationship Gone Sour? Here's What You Need to Fix It!

Communication Breakdown

Why Men Cheat and How to Stop It

Communication Breakdown

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.

Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"

I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.

I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.

So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.

Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.

A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…

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Saving Marriages With Unconditional Love

In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.

So what is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.

But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.

Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.

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This article is brought to you bySave My Marriage Today .

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today course has helped save thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver results or your money back.

You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results ... guaranteed.

Because your marriage deserves better!

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3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live 'happily ever after'. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood's long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has 'fallen out of love'?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say "I do," we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don't get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Some say if we don't make mistakes we don't really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That's why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let's call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I'm talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don't make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It's okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don't always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn't make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it's up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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This article is brought to you bySave My Marriage Premium Home Study Course.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! The Save My Marriage Today! Premium Home Study Course has helped fastrack the turnaround of thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver you real and measurable results or your money back.

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You have to go to Save My Marriage Premium Home Study Course and transform your marriage today.

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Save Your Marriage Secrets

One of the greatest lessons in life is the realization that the limit to your learning is endless. Old, young, wise, not so wise, all people have the opportunity to learn something new every day. You may or may not be aware of it, but over the course of a lifetime you learn more about how life works, how other people work, and even about yourself and how you interact with others. Life is continually calling us into learning, and this is especially applicable when it comes to human relationships.

One of the greatest relationships we are called into over the course of our life is marriage. This does not necessarily mean that it is the most important life relationship, but it is one whose success or failure has the greatest impact on your adult life. And in looking at marriage, there are a number of key skills that are crucial to navigating your way through marriage.

There will always be couples who live in apparent wedded bliss, and those that will tell you that they never fight or disagree. That simply isn't true. As each of us grow and evolve, we are called to learn different lessons in different ways, and one of the exciting things about marriages is the way we interact and negotiate our way around issues when we look at things from different perspectives. Those who tell you they have never been challenged in this way have never really lived. But what determines whether this challenge is a positive or negative experience for your marriage is how both of you choose to react to your differences and work around them.

When faced with a disagreement there are a range of choices. The first is to back down, allowing the other to make their point and express it. Another is to challenge their point and ascertain whether it is correct. Another choice is to discuss both options and see if there is room for flexibility. Are both of you correct, or is one of you incorrect in your viewpoint? How much is one person's viewpoint inhibiting the beliefs, values, or morals of the other?

The most important point here however, is introspection. Evaluate your actions and reactions.

* What lesson am I being called to learn in this conflict?
* What can I learn about my partner and myself?
* What can I learn in order to address this issue and move forward?

The key is to understand the issues and to find small ways to move forward. You can call them goals. Make them achievable, and make them measurable. How often are you coming back and seeing if you have reached your goals? Are you making progress or are you at a stalemate?

The important thing to realize is that you are always learning, and finding new ways of understanding and loving each other as well as yourselves. Think of your marriage issues as an opportunity for growth and understanding.

The next step is to identify the lessons that you both must learn. In marriage we are called into a constant evolution, a journey of loving. The challenge to all marriages, good and bad, is to find new ways of loving each other. If you have been married one year, ten years or forty years, the challenge is still the same. Grow in love together.

What can you learn from your partner and your marriage today? What do you know today that you didn't know yesterday. The secret is to never stop learning. And when you do stop learning, that's where we can help.

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This article is brought to you bySave My Marriage Premium Home Study Course.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today! Premium Home Study Course has helped fastrack the turnaround of thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver you real and measurable results or your money back.

You are the best person to save your marriage, and with the tools and techniques in my Premium Home Study Course you really can. You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL answers and REAL results ... guaranteed.

Because the key to your marriage success is in your hands!

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Relationship Gone Sour? Here's What You Need to Fix It!

by Amy Waterman
 

It's inevitable: your relationship moves from the madness of infatuation ... to the comfortable warmth of familiarity ... to the irritating boredom of habit. Your heart no longer sings when you hear his voice. You already know what he's thinking when you catch his eyes. He's simply the man you live with, and you both annoy the hell out of one another at times.

Here's the good news: all couples get to this stage eventually. Romantic love will wear off. You're going to find out that he's imperfect, and he's going to discover the same about you. Each of you will have habits that annoy the other person. You may find that there are bigger issues in your relationship than you originally thought. You may even be feeling that it's time to ask the question:should you even try to make it work, or just accept that you're not meant to be?

Before you answer that, you need to try Three of my Top Tips for Salvaging a Relationship Gone Sour. These three tips have been proven to take just about any relationship from dull, annoying, and unsatisfying to richer, more intimate, and more resilient in the face of conflict ... which is why it surprises me so much that we let our relationships get so bad in the first place! You can use these tips anytime, anywhere, with anyone!So here they are: 

Top Tip #1: Break the Habit

It's so easy to get stuck in a rut. You probably drive the same route to work every day, stock your refrigerator with the same foods, and have the same routine that you go through night after night when you get home. It's human nature to seek the easiest way to do anything, and, once we've found it, it takes a lot of convincing before we'll try something new.

There's nothing wrong with establishing healthy habits that keep you on track, but when it comes to a relationship, habit can equal boredom.

A popular myth states that men are not designed to be monogamous, since they reap greater biological rewards by siring offspring with the largest number of females possible. If you read Helen Fisher's The Anatomy of Love, you'll find out why that view is mistaken based on the anthropological evidence. But one thing is certain: men do desire variety. And that's something you can give him without his needing to seek other sexual partners.

1. Try a New Look

We have infinite possibilities of reinvention. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is the show Ten Years Younger, in which men and women are challenged to update their look and emerge looking younger, sexier, and amazingly happier as a result.

The difference that a new hairstyle or wardrobe update can make is incredible. When you look different, he feels like he's with a different woman ... a woman who's more exciting, edgier, and even younger!

2. Broaden Your Mind

Your "look" isn't the only thing that you can reinvent. Keep your mind sharp and fresh by learning a new skill or reading a book that you wouldn't ordinarily be interested in. If you've never done something before - such as go to the opera, visit a popular vacation hotspot, or try salsa dancing - then all the more reason you should! In fact, the more unlikely it is that you'd be interested, the more you'll broaden your mind by trying it out.

You see, we all have certain ideas about what we like and don't like, but often those ideas serve to keep us in our rut and prevent us from trying out new experiences. Don't let your opinions keep you stuck doing the same old things!

3. Create New "Couple Experiences"

The most important way that you can break your rut is by trying new activities together. Have you ever noticed how the memories you make on vacation seem to be sharper than the worn, familiar memories of your day-to-day lives? That's because going on vacation is a break from the norm. The newness of the experience and the environment puts our senses on high alert.

You don't have to go on vacation to make memories. All you have to do is actively plan new couple experiences that place you in an unfamiliar setting. Go hiking in an area of natural beauty, try shopping at a farmer's market or a flea market, or go to an ethnic neighborhood and order a dish that you can't pronounce. Browse the cultural section of the local newspaper one Saturday morning and pick an event at random.

The point is not to look for experiences that you'll both like; rather, it's to experience something new together as a couple and hopefully create vivid memories that you'll treasure forever.

Top Tip #2: Make Him Your Partner, Not Your Adversary

Want to know the quickest way to kill a relationship? See your partner as the enemy. See him as the guy who's "wrong" while you're "right," and make it your mission to convince him of the error of his ways.

If always being right is important to you, then don't be surprised if your relationships are marked by conflicts and arguing. If someone always needs to win, then someone else is always going to lose, and they're not going to be happy about it.

The healthiest couples are committed to finding a "win-win" situation in any conflict. They're committed to learning how to put themselves in the other person's shoes and work through issues as a couple. They know that just because one of them wants something, that doesn't mean that they should have it at the expense of the relationship. They can say with all honesty, "What's good for us is what's good for me."

Top Tip #3: Love Him in His Own Language

All of us give and receive love differently. Perhaps what makes you feel loved is when your partner celebrates special occasions with beautiful gifts, but perhaps what makes your partner feel loved is when you initiate sex and show him how much you enjoy being with him sexually.

No matter how much you love your partner, if you don't communicate that love to him in a way that he understands, he won't feel loved enough. Similarly, he may love you more than you could ever know, but if he doesn't express it in a way that you understand, you won't feel loved enough. That's why it's so important to ensure that you communicate love in a "language" he understands, and vice versa.

Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, believes that we communicate love in one of five ways: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. For example, a wife may want to hear her husband saying, "I love you and think you're wonderful" (words of affirmation), while her husband shows his love for her by doing chores around the house (acts of service). Unless both parties know that they're speaking different languages, they may not feel truly loved.

If you are feeling that your relationship is no longer as loving as it once was, make a commitment to finding out your partner's love language and expressing love towards him in the way he receives it best. Best of all, you don't have to feel particularly loving to act in a loving way. The simple act of two people showing love to one another in practical, demonstrable ways - even if they both feel that the "love" is gone - can actually reignite the loving feelings in both of them.

Now that you know what the Three Top Tips for Salvaging a Relationship are, go out and practice them! Trying something new will always take courage and effort, but I promise that the more you practice these tips, the more natural they'll become. It's just like eating healthily: although it may seem like a lot of effort at first, the pleasure of living in a healthier, more energetic body makes it well worth every bit!

P.S. For more amazing advice on how to create a satisfying, made-to-last relationship, why not check outSave My Marriage Today? My colleague Andrew Rusbatch and I wrote this step-by-step guide to healing and fortifying a marriage, and the advice we give is so sound that marriage counselors have even recommended it! That's because the skills it takes to build a healthy relationship are the very same that will ensure a strong marriage. Learn those techniques before crisis hits. Check out theSave My Marriage Todaywebsite to learn more.

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by Amy Waterman
 

The statistics are sobering: between one in five and one in four men -- at least -- have cheated on their wives. And that's not including the affairs that occur in casual or long-term relationships. According to sites like WomenSavers.com, men who cheat should be branded so that no more women will make the mistake of falling for him again.

For many of us, our immediate response is harsh judgment. A man who cheats lacks self-discipline, doesn't respect his partner, and is undeserving of any trust in the future. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

But is that the whole picture? Is an affair merely about the temptation of sex and a man's weak will? Or are there layers to adultery that might reveal startling insights into what keeps relationships together and drives them apart?

Helen Fisher's stunning book, The Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, argues that there were genetic payoffs to cheating for both men and women, back during the earliest days of human history. While men sought to spread their genes, women sought to acquire resources through sneaking off with lovers. Each male conquest could provide her with extra gifts, food, and shelter. Plus, these extra males provided "insurance" against the event of her mate dying or not being a satisfactory provider.

It could be argued, then, that cheating is a biological possibility for all of us, whether male or female, and nowhere is temptation more rampant than in the workplace. As men and women increasingly spend longer hours away from home in a mixed-gender environment, we begin to feel more connected to our co-workers than our spouses. If we do consider cheating, there may not be enough negative consequences to outweigh the positive. Today, there are fewer societal consequences for those who do cheat, and divorce often becomes the "easy" option.

Although all of us experience temptation, it's important to (1) recognize that there are men who simply cannot stay monogamous, so, if you've found yourself one of those, you're unlikely to be able to change him - period - and (2) to recognize that your average "good guy," who has no history of cheating and likes to think of himself as loyal to his woman, can seek comfort outside your relationship if his basic emotional needs aren't being met.

This newsletter will deal with the second case - not how cheaters can be kept from cheating, but how a good solid relationship can be further "cheat-proofed" against infidelity.

New flash: men don't just cheat for the sex. Sex is one component - but perhaps not even the most important - of an affair. Men may cheat out of boredom, out of a desire to find resolution to an uncomfortable marital situation, out of a desire to "prove" themselves, out of an inability to be intimate, and more.

More importantly for us, average men - the kind of guy who normally wouldn't cheat - can be tempted into having an affair for all the feelings surrounding sex: that of being desired, being admired, and, yes, even being worshipped. According to one of my favorite male experts David Zinczenko (author of Men, Love & Sex):

Alexandra Penney, author of How to Keep Your Man Monogamous, agrees. Although sex is the most obvious motivation for an affair, it's not the primary motivation. She argues that the primary motivation often has to do with a man's needs not being met in a relationship, whether those needs are sexual or emotional.

One of the needs a man has is to know that he is desired by his partner and is able to make her happy. That's why, according to Barbara and Allen Pease, "A common fantasy for most men is a sensuous, unknown woman coming on to him and finding him irresistible. He satisfies her every need - her every need" (Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps 215).

Sadly, in many relationships, men and women alike stop showing how attracted they are to their partner. They assume that the other person should "just know." As one man said, "I married her, didn't I?" But wearing a marriage ring doesn't reassure your partner on a daily basis that you still find him or her attractive: words and actions do.

One sign of a relationship on the rocks is lack of sexual intimacy, so make sure that sex remains a priority in your relationship. Even if you're tired and stressed, don't see sex as a luxury. It's when you're tired and stressed that you need that intimate connection the most.

Second, men need to feel that they can make their partner happy. According to John Gray, a man has to be certain that he can make you happy before he'll contemplate a relationship with you. If you've established a pattern of nagging your partner and pointing out the ways in which he doesn't measure up, then you're literally driving your partner away. Gratitude and appreciation are much greater motivators than the desire to avoid hearing you nag.

Tip #2. Allow Him to Be the Man You Dated

Usually, in the beginning of a relationship, men and women are on the same wavelength. She finds him irresistible, and he finds her irresistible. Anything one does pleases the other beyond belief.

As people are together longer and longer, their expectations go up. They find that they have to do more and more to please the other person in the same way. For example, while getting a takeout pizza may have been a treat in the early days of the relationship, a married man may find that he has to spring for a four-course meal with an expensive bottle of wine before his wife is equally as happy.

The same can go for sex. While just getting naked together was exciting enough in the early days of the relationship, a couple that has been together for a while may find that even sex isn't enough to make them feel physically and emotionally connected. Instead, sex becomes a habit, a duty, something that's done more out of a feeling that it ought to be part of the relationship rather than real desire.

Here's a technique that can work to reawaken your admiration and respect for your partner again. Can you remember what you thought of him back when you started dating? Can you let him be that man -- that man who wasn't defined by his relationship with you? Can you allow him to make his own mistakes, make decisions, and take the lead?

Often, we emasculate men by treating our husband like one of our children. Rather than leaning on his shoulder for support, we pick up his clothes, fix his meals, and remind him of appointments, effectively cutting him out of any responsibility. If we were still dating, would we stand for that? Of course not!

Simply asking your man for help and allowing him to be your hero - even if he doesn't do things as well as you do - can do wonders in making him feel recommitted to your relationship.

Tip #3. Love Yourself Anyway

It may seem counterintuitive to say that how you feel about yourself affects whether or not your partner will cheat on you, but, according to Don Miguel Ruiz, people only tend to abuse us to the extent that we already abuse ourselves. Otherwise, you wouldn't stand for it, and you'd be out of that relationship in a heartbeat.

If you feel like you're not good enough or not attractive enough for your husband, he is going to pick up on your feelings. I've seen it time and time again: a man thinks the world of the woman in his life until she reminds him, time and time again, how overweight or unattractive or old she is. She puts doubts in his mind that would have never occurred to him normally.

Love yourself! You are enough for your partner. You are as sexy as you feel. If long hours working and parenting are getting you down and you notice that your body isn't as firm as it is, then ask your husband for help and find some time to dedicate to yourself. Your body's health matters. The healthier you are, the more energy you will have, and the more attractive you will be.

If you love yourself, you will respect yourself too much to tolerate abusive behaviors. This includes the ways in which we argue. If you and your partner hurl personal insults in the course of an argument, you owe it to yourselves to study alternative methods of resolving your conflicts. Words can and do hurt.

Most importantly, the more you love yourself, the more radiant you will appear to all men. Your partner will feel so proud that he has you on his arm that he'll never want to risk that with an affair. You owe it to yourself to be the best, most loving, most beautiful version of yourself that you can be. If you don't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, then how can you expect him to give you the respect you deny yourself?

The three tips I've given you above are not the whole answer to the tricky and complicated issue of affairs, but they will have a significant effect on making your relationship more resistant to the temptation of an affair. You have an advantage in that your partner loves you, and youare the one he has chosen. If you nurture it in small ways by showing him your desire for him, showing him how he makes you happy, and allowing him to be your hero, then your love will continue to grow stronger.

P.S. Wondering if your partner is cheating without being able to prove your suspicions is a horrible feeling. That's why I was so happy to find out that there are books out there that will help you get the proof you need before you make a horrible mistake by confronting an innocent man. Check out my friend Sarah's book,How to Catch a Cheating Spouse.You'll learn the facts about cheating and what you should do if it's happening to you.

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