What Triggers Fight & How To Settle Them - Keeping Your Relationship With Your Spouse 0r Lover Harmonious!

by Cucan Pemo

Falling into a relationship is easy, but maintaining arelationship requires delicate care and skills. The processcan be likened to tending to your garden and keeping a
garden of beautiful roses which will turn heads around.

The task of creating and building that magical relationshipdoes not come easy but is not difficult if you would justlearn the right ways to build a harmonious relationship thatlasts.

Find out what could trigger fight in a relationship and howto settle them to avoid all those pain and heartache andunnecessary misunderstandings which might eventually ruin arelationship.

(1) You want to win all time, giving in is losing your stand
Nobody likes to lose. Losing hurts our ego, and it will doall it can to defend itself, to fight for itself, and toargue its way through until it makes sure that it gets itsway. However, this hurts your partner's ego too. It, too,wants to defend itself, fight for itself, and to argue itsway through. It simply will not let go. So if you want tostop the fighting, you have to be the one to initiate that!Better still, keep quiet. Your partner will soon stopfighting once he/she is not able to find anyone to reason orfight with when you just keep quiet.

(2) One of you is insistent in doing things your own way.
Each of us always has reasons for doing certain things. Ifyou do not like what you see in your partner's attitude orbehavior, change that, within you! Change your perceptionsabout what you are seeing and how you think about it! Youmight not be able to change your partner, but you can changehow you feel inside of you. You can offer your suggestions,your opinions, but try not to go against their person. Letthem know that it is their behavior or attitude that you areagainst, but not against their persons. Always remember, ifyou live your life always wanting to change other people,you never learn to see the goodness or beauty of people andthings around you.

(3) You or your spouse is under pressure or stress
We tend to vent our anger or frustrations that we have oversomebody or something on our spouse or lover, whether we doit consciously or unconsciously. If your spouse is the oneunder stress or pressure, try to see from their point ofview. Instead of starting a fight for no real reasons, tryto help them cope with the frustration or problems they arefacing. It is useful to remind yourself that you can lend alistening ear. If you are the one having any stress orencountering difficulties, it is a good idea to let yourspouse know so he or she could try to see from your point ofview too and to share your burden. In short, do not keepeverything to yourself.

(4) One of you is not sensitive to your partner's feelings
If your spouse or lover is insensitive to your feelings, youwould think that they do not care or that they areignorant. So you question them and start picking a fight. Be
aware! You are solely responsible for your own feelings.Your spouse or your lover does not owe you your feelings.Let them know how you feel should they do something whichyou deem undesirable and unpleasant. Open up and talk toyour partner. Focus on effective communication instead.

Always remember that patience and tolerance is not a sign ofweakness, but a sign of strength. To start a fight and tosustain a fight you need another person to fight with. Thusif you really, really, really want to stop a fight. Be theperson who wants to stop it and just let go of all yourfrustration and anger. Your spouse or lover cannot continuefighting if there is no other person for them to fightagainst. It takes two hands to make a clapping sound! Remindyourself, if you do not want the clapping sound, you canjust remove one of your hands. Who makes the decision? You!
 

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