Communication in Marriage ArticlesWomen complain they can't get men to talk. When time comes for intimate conversation, guys clam up, offer a few, indecipherable grunts and expect women to magically understand what's going on. The number one complaint women have in relationships is, I don't know what he's thinking. He never tells me what is going on with him. How can I get him to open up? Women feel shut out, and men feel misunderstood However, there is something women don't realize. Men want to talk. Under the right conditions, they'll talk all night long. Most men desperately need to unburden themselves and let others know what's going on...... It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues...... Sometimes, when a couple is having trouble, they decide to try to deal with it. And when they decide to deal with it, sometimes they are effective, and other times they create more damage. Today, a quick note about the damaging approach: The Big Talk about the relationship. You know the one; it's the talk that will pull things back together. You will share, your spouse will suddenly understand, you two will make up, and marital bliss will follow. OK, that's the mental picture you hold...... How to Build Rapport with Your Spouse Do you wish that you had better rapport with your spouse? Are you at a loss for what to do to increase communication and emotional intimacy? Recently, Christian Godefroy published a story titled “The Dancing Cow” in a newsletter I receive. When I read the story, I immediately thought of how the main point applies to married couples...... What Happens When a Husband Stonewalls and a Wife Criticizes Every time Faye tried to talk with her husband Ed about problems in the marriage, he refused to talk about the issues. He either changed the subject or said “Not now, Faye.” If cornered, Ed would stare at Faye with an unchanging facial expression while she talked, and then he’d walk away without saying anything. He refused to cooperate with anything she suggested to improve their communication...... Over time, communication in a marriage can become blocked and unsatisfactory. Stress, work, children, and a constant time crunch can limit the time and energy you and your spouse have available to focus on maintaining good communication. Throw in any other factors such as aging parents, depression, illness, or financial troubles and the challenge of maintaining healthy communication becomes even more difficult...... Marriage Counseling: How to Reduce Hurt Feelings When You and Your Spouse Disagree One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred “kill your opponent” verbal altercation can last for decades...... Marriage Counseling Tips: What to Do When Your Spouse Won't Talk How to get a spouse’s attention so that he or she will communicate with you is an issue that mystifies many couples. Spouses report trying many techniques, such as trying to talk rationally and logically, watching to see when a spouse is in a good mood, and waiting for a time when the television is off. They also share stories of begging, pleading, threatening, and finally, yelling and screaming...... In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you...... How to Nurture Intimacy When You're in a Long-Distance Marriage The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?..... The Two Most Common Communication Problems Without effective communication, no relationship stands a chance. We talk (and listen) all day long, but only a small part of our communication takes place in words. Most of the time we believe the other is listening to and understanding what we saying, but by and large, this is not the case. Most of the time the other person is planning what he or she will say back, or tuning out, or building up some kind of fantasy that has nothing to do with what is going on at that moment. When we are fighting, we want more than ever to be understood and words go flying back and forth like arrows. At this point, resolution to the problem can be far away...... 3 Communication Pitfalls to Avoid What are the secrets of effective communication? How do we truly get what we want while also giving our partners what they need? Let's look at the top three communication problems that most couples have -- and see how they can be solved right here...... 5 Reasons Couples Fight and Breakup and What you Can Do About It Nearly everyone has experienced a relationship breakup or divorce and it can be one of the most painful periods in your life as you try to heal your broken heart. What we have discovered in our relationship coaching practice, many breakups don't have to happen. So, if breakups don't have to occur, what cases them and how can you prevent them? Here are four ideas to help you better understand why breakups happen and what you can do to prevent them in your relationship...... Asking for What you Want: Why is it so Difficult? Recently, Susie took her mother who has Alzheimer's disease to the hospital for an out-patient procedure to be done. The Importance of Saying only what you mean! Several years ago, we read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and we think it's a great resource for tearing up your past belief systems and starting over with more empowering ones. The first agreement is "be impeccable with your word." In other words, speak with integrity--saying only what you mean. We think this is really important in relationships of all kinds and especially in intimate ones...... One of the most difficult things to do in relationship is to listen--truly listen from your heart without blame, judgment or "you ought toos and you shoulds." It's also difficult to take the time to listen without allowing distractions to pull you away from what the other person is saying. It doesn't even matter if the person you are listening to is baring their soul or not, It's incredibly important to stay present, interested and focused on that person...... Several years ago, we attended a very powerful workshop on Spiritual Partnerships with Gary Zukav, author of Seat of the Soul, and his spiritual partner Linda Francis. The great thing about attending a weekend workshop like this is that you get to learn a lot about yourself and your partner. We got to learn about how making simple assumptions can damage relationships very quickly. Simple assumptions that we make about each other and situations can lead to resentment, distance and emotional separation if left unaddressed...... Falling into a relationship is easy, but maintaining a relationship requires delicate care and skills. The process can be likened to tending to your garden and keeping a garden of beautiful roses which will turn heads around. The task of creating and building that magical relationship does not come easy but is not difficult if you would just learn the right ways to build a harmonious relationship that lasts..... 5 Easy Ways To Get Out Of Fights And Disagreements Someone has ever asked me, "Cucan, is it possible that we can go back to the way we are; that things will be the same as it is initially when we first meet, or when we first fall in love?" My answer is, you can't fall in love forever! One day you will fall out of it. In fact, change if the only constant in this world. Things can't be staying the same all the time. Because of change, life is forever beatiful and spontaneous! But because of your faith, you can stay together till the end of time...... How To Draw Anyone To Your Side - Spellbinding Attraction Secrets You Wouldn't Want To Miss! Before I begin, I would like to first point out that throughout this article I will be using "he" and "him", etc, rather than awkwardly saying "he or she" or using "he/she". So please understand I do not mean this as slight to women. Many of my readers have often asked me, "How can I change my partner? What can I do to make him do things the way I want it? Or is it even possible?" My question to you is, "Do you go into a relationship to change another person?"..... Don't Ask These Drill Questions In Your Relationship! When you are in a relationship you need to know what you should ask and what you should keep to yourself. You may not know that when you are asking your partner something that you think is important, you may actually be insulting them and make a very large strain on the relationship as well. You need to be aware of these questions and keep them on the back burner as long as you can...... When it comes to fighting and disagreeing with men, women frequently make a critical mistake which ends up causing them to feel hurt and lonely. When I see a female client for Relationship Advice I frequently encounter this scenario. During a routine conversation there is a disagreement between the woman and her husband/boyfriend...... The Silent Treatment - A Form of Abuse I believe the silent treatment (feigned apathy; cold-shoulder; silence; distance, and ignoring you) is the worst form of emotional abuse. It is a punishment used by abusers to make you feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from the abuser's thoughts. It is used as a form of non-physical punishment and control because the abuser mistakenly thinks that if they don't physically harm you then they are not abusers. The truth is, they are far worse at doling out abuse than the physical abuser...... There have been many books about Communication, Communication Styles, and Conflict Resolution Techniques. Communication Skills Understanding the Energy of Relationship The combined energy of two people is much more than 1 + 1. When we come into a close relationship, our energy is deeply stirred by the catalyzing effect of the beloved. What we do with this increased energy determines the path of the relationship. This activity is designed to illuminate your response to the very thing that draws you together......
One person will be the speaker and one the amplifier in this communication activity. Speaker, say aloud: "It is safe for me to feel all my anger." Amplifier, assist the speaker to enlarge any gestures he or she made with the statement as it is repeated. For example, if the speaker starts to make fists, have the person use his whole upper body to brace and strike out with fists. You'll have the most fun with this if you really take it all the way, making a caricature of your expression......
The elegant simplicity of direct communication is like Zen meditation practice, and the goal is similar: just so, just as it is, nothing extra. Tremendous transformation occurs when we speak directly from our deep experience. In this activity you'll have the chance to experience the power of getting down to the bone. You'll need a tape-recorder with microphone for this activity...... Communication Skills Whole Body Listening This activity is designed to help you uncover the relationship between verbal communication and body experience, and to increase your ability to tune in to your partner more deeply and develop more channels of communication...... Communication Skills: Deepening CommunicationReal communication and transformation occur when we feel heard and seen as we are. The experience of being understood is often what we're really after when we make contact. This activity clears the path so that the flow of communication is unimpeded...... |